What a week!
I completely lost my cool and unleashed the wrath of my ire….sjoe i havent been so angry in a long time! And then I felt a huge sense of relief because that’s what was needed at the time (call centre agent calling me about money they say I owe when I have proof it’s paid). I feel bad for the agent cos im a scathing scorpio if you get on my wrong side! Hostile and vicious someone once said.
Wednesday morning I laughed out loud hearing a prank on the radio while driving to work…yooh that laugh made me feel so good.
Later that day I was close to tears reading about another little girl murdered on the cape flats. Some days I felt anxious, stressed and hectic – that goes with my territory…and on others I felt peaceful, in control and chilled cos that’s what I chose.
This week was a rollercoaster of emotions…each day bringing with it a whole range of experiences and feelings…it is sink or swim….and I’m so damn unfit!
For me the best space to be in is to allow myself to just go with it…especially when so many things in my environment I have no control over. Kla wat it soe is / it is what it is. There is sadness and joy, confusion and clarity, chaos and calm in every circumstance…its what you choose in that moment that determines your state of wellbeing. Life has shown me that burying your emotions brings more pain for oneself. Wallowing in it more pain for others. That’s why laughing too much for too long hurts after a while and crying too much makes you look like crap.
We are emotional beings yes, but what has been one of my most helpful life lessons is learning to control my emotions. I cant allow myself to simply let rip, become defiant, rant and rave over every damn thing that pisses me off…i would be one angry bear all the time. And no one invites Moaner Lisa, Debbie Downer, Betty Bitch or Suzy Sunshine to lunch. The super-chirpy, high-energy, sunny-side-up-24/7 persona is just friggen scary! How much prozac do you sprinkle over your oats girl? And can I have some is my question.
Too many things are simply not worth getting emotional and dramatic about. Waste of time and energy. Get a grip. Do what you need to do and get on with it…and get over it. And especially mind your own damn business like my Dad always says. Its the secret to a happy life. Dont get sucked into other people’s shit all the time…doesnt matter who they are…if they grown they have choices and they need to handle their business. Not saying forget about empathy, compassion, concern but know your limits too cos some people have drama all.the.time. Thats what they have for breakfast.
And then life’s just like that….a friggen rollercoaster. You gotta keep it real. Find your balance. This too shall pass. Dala what you must. How does that new Katie Perry song go….”don’t try to catch feelings”.