Extinction alert: Men with tools

Dang! There are times when I REALLY miss having a man around. Like now…when my kitchen tap does not want to close and the water is just gushing out. I’m having visions of the 7 o’clock EWN news headlines “Cape Town dams run empty – city woman being held!”

The sink is full of dishes and I’ve not had a shower yet and I have Steenbras dam gushing down my drain WTF? Ok calm, cool and collected, cos that’s just how you roll right, don’t panic. Being the (ahem) well-informed woman I am, at least I know where to turn off the water supply. Thank goodness! Now what? Call Daddy! Now dial his number. My Dad is friggin Mr FixIT. And he taught my brother, Al, really well. But Al “can’t fix taps, only cars”. Gee thanks for that useless info brother.

So here I am waiting for Daddy and Al to come with the tools. These men don’t realise how hard they make it for the other men in my life (yes bitches…I have men in my life – fleetingly). Which gets me to thinking…Do modern guys have tools these days? I mean tools that can perform more than just bodily functions? I’m talking serious frigging tools that you have to plug in to the wall and that make a noise and make them look like those cowboys from the days of the Westerns who come riding up on the horizon, dust clowds billowing behind them, to come and rescue the damsel in distress.

Yeah man, these days men are all about the facials and soft hands and metrosexual shit. They barely know where the petrol goes in their car. Don’t get me wrong…girls love that you keep your nails clean and wear suits and smell so good, but damn, if something breaks dude, you better not be calling no handy man!

Do men have friggin tool boxes in their garages or is this exclusively the sacred space for the gleaming automobile? Do modern men get their hands dirty?

These are the days when I get a twinge of nostalgia for the ex (husband that is) who could friggin fix everything. The hardware shop was his Nine West – everything always got fixed – immediately! Yes, that too can drive you mad after 7 years! OCD DELUXE but he had every tool in the book. Sjoe but that USA construction worker toolbelt can make even MR Bean look like the Cosmo man of the month! Every Guy should get THAT toolbelt even if they have no tools! That’s Sistah E’s sex tip no. 188.

There’s something to be said for a man who gets his hands dirty…whether it be under the sink, in the soil or under the hood of a car….grrrrr makes a girl wanna friggin reward a brotha for tha hard labour….you know what I’m sayin’ 😉

Word to da men out there…i’m a simple girl with simple needs – toolbelt, tools, fix it.

Tap is all fixed now. Thank you Daddy (And Al for passing the tools). 🙂


One thought on “Extinction alert: Men with tools

  1. Hehehe! My husband has tools – and those big items he doesn’t have he borrows from his brother who is THE Mr Fixit! So, anything electrical is a cinch for him, but ask him to paint! Gee whiz…the process is completely random. Start rolling paint on this wall then move to another wall to cut in…drives me insane! After 3 days our lounge is still not done being painted. Looks like I have to put on MY painter’s overalls and jump in to save the day! After all, everyone of us is the heroine of our own story.


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