A quote that deeply resonated with me this week was “my alone feels so good, I’ll only have if you’re sweeter than my solitude”. This quote encapsulates where I’m at right now – I enjoy my single status, and although I spend a large percentage of my time alone, I never feel chronically lonely. That is not to say that I don’t want to spend my time in the company of others, quite the contrary – I enjoy being with friends and family, but I’ve just found that the older one gets the more complicated associations become, there’s just too much drama, schedules, personalities, it just simpler to be alone. And Yes I guess I’m a little selfish and protective of this bubble of bliss I’ve created for myself, although there are people who simply cannot relate to my preference for solitude. I’ve seen too many women stay in relationships that are bad for them because they don’t want to be alone. I’ve seen too many men endure abusive relationships because they simply cannot face being alone. Loneliness is the least spoken about state of being, and it’s quite scary in these times we live in – more people are economically independent, they don’t need the family support structure, friends are all so damn busy you literally have to diarise an appointment for coffee! So we go about our daily lives being desperately alone, or like me, just a loner, but never talking about it – worse to acknowledge that you’re lonely than to say you’re flat broke. I do have my days where I long for a partner to share stuff with, but those days are fleeting, my life is full, I’m comfortable with who I am, it is what it is. Maybe that’s why I love to run, I can be alone with my thoughts, indulge myself in the scenes around me and listen to one whole music album in one go! This morning I got into my car and drove to Kalk bay for a long run. No pressure – I could go as fast or slow as I wanted too, I could even stop to take pictures of the magnificent coastal views! Happy as a pig in shit.
I’m at peace with with my solitude, my alone feels sooo good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.